seriously..i am soo messed up right now..i am intense under pressure for alot of things..when i kept quiet, my mind thinks of stuff that i should not think..why am I behaving this way?..its really bothering much that sometime i fell the only way out is just kept myself away from people that I love dearly..but i can't cause i always want them to have that happy smile on their faces which always keep me away from those things..but if one start to breakdown and cry i would be deeply swollen by their sadness and especially if it is because of me..oh god..please help me out here..

to her..
I seriously don't want to lose you no matter what..i never want to hurt you no matter what i do but sometime without me realising the mistake i have hurt you which kills me when I see you cry because you are that special someone that really plays the most important part in my life especially now and the future to come..sometimes when i am with you especially when i am keeping quiet..i always ask myself have I been a good BF to you?does my actions hurts your feeling?what should I do to keep you away thinking of the problems you are facing?and what does it take to see you smile which i will always die for?..i may keep things from you but i will never cross my mind thinking of cheating on you because you are the only key that will lock away my misery for good..and when you go quiet i will wonder what are you thinking about?did I do anything wrong?..well i juz wanna treat you the best every moment if i could but sometime people things that i dont even care what you are doing which really killing me..I really love you very much and dearly.

I want to be happy as i used to be without any misery behind every smile that i give now..PLEASE GOD..I NEED YOU NOW..lighten this burden i am carrying so those around me dont need to worry because i dont want them too..

hey guys have not been any entry from me for a week cause was out with camp.

I juz got back home from BLAZE CAMP I..was really fun and enjoying experience from..got to make friends with those guys from different ITE in the West and the journey in the camp make me realise alot of things eventhough I have been to TONS of adventure camp but this one is the first time for me as i able to look at the other aspect as a leader..CUT THE CRAP!..

it was really fun man!!..PINKIES!..miss them already!..it was really tiring for me nw as i am still tired from the activities from the camp..meet up with bunch of ass kicking people YEAH!..so it was worth of coming for the camp..

will be going out for jln raye with the 5Bs today and GOT to attend band in the evening later and maybe walk her home today if there is still time=D

to her: I really miss you so very much aite..been away for four days and got to see you for awhile yesterday seems less enough for us i knw..we will go out one of this days before the holidays end aites..looking forward today of meeting you very much..xoxo

pictures from the camp soon to upload aites..

THATS ALL FOLKS

hey yea..i really had enjoyed this week alot i guess..firstly will be my long lost cousins from australia,LOL!(juz kidding)..well juz miss them alot..especially said and osman or better knwn as OZZY!..hahaha..well have bring them along to hang out with my other cuz,safwat at town..catching movies and obviously fast food in singapore which are of COURSE HALAL!..which they don't get over at the aus..awww!...going to miss them when they are gone..ok..2nd thing is she is bck finally from malaysia..cant say how much that i miss you!..3rd-ly will be MY BEST FRENZ BIRTHDAY!

happy belated 17th birthday PAK ARDY YE!..
harap2 kau nye otak berkembang dan proccessor nye upgrade seperti orgnye punye umor ye?..
jgn mkn banyak sangat sampai kau tembamb balike ye bang?
HAHAHAHA!
happy belated birthday my dearest friend khairil ardy bin samad(cheiwah..full name lagi!(tak tahu betol atau salah))
Hope that your life will continue on to prosper as your age grows geng!
and of course hope that our friendship will continue on through all the way man
happy belated 17th birthday geng!

and lastly will be hari raya..i guess..

you knw in every smile there is a story to be told about the person..well mine is not that pleasent..i been having alot of problems in my life..but non of the person around me knws what i am going through even the closest friends and her..sometime i feel it is not important to make them worry about it but think of it i should have told them sooner..i may have always wanting to put a smile on your face by juz simply cranking a lame joke or even a smile..but behind my smile there is my painful bckground..which i dont want to share but as days passes by..it is killing me..but i must always fight on..it is juz a big test from god and i always belief he will make things right lke other people one day..but nw i will juz carry on with my life..try to keep it in rather then blow it up on someone cause if i told them, then there will be another matter for them to think of rather then their own problems..but as for nw i will still listen to all the problems especially my friends and her cause i will always be the lending ear to you all and a shoulder to cry on..a hug when you feel cold and a chat when you are bored/alone..and for her a kiss to light up your day=D(seriously, im sorry if there will be any typo errors or vocab mistake cause i cnt think straight and i am tired and sleepy)

thats all folks!

Went out in the morning today with ryan to the gym..earlier he msg me at around..3 AM IN THE MORNING!..nvm about that anyway..feels good to be bck training in the gym..but just lasted for one and the half hour in the gym..we meet up at 830 am in the morning.after that we do some shopping at orchard bought my shoes and accompany him to cathay orchard to meet up with his band mates..got to knw them some..then he and his friends bought some stuff at urban male then i when off to bugis to get my shirt alone..

to her..don't worry aite..is not that compulsory today to meet up and i understand hari raya is coming so you better finish cleaning up the house..if you cnt make it this wed or thurs then we cn meet up later after you come bck from malaysia..family comes first remember!..hope you done with your chores at home..if not then finish up soon ok?

when home after getting my shirt..was dam tired so once i reach home i went to sleep..woke up by her call..shower and watch tv for awhile and then fetch my sister from her sch..my parents didnt break fast today at home so i got to finish the food cause dont want my grandma to be dissapointed that much after she cook alot today..anyway its my favourite dish..roti renjis!..so no prob finishing the food..pissed with my irritating idiot brother..dont want to go shower earlier and shouted bck at my grandma..seriously on of this day i am goin to sufficate him..sometime i feel as if he rather life in his own world and just meant to leave him right there..but second thaught he still my full blood brother..owh well..thats my life..anyway thats all for tonite..maybe going to gym tomorrow..shall see..kk

thats all folks!
 

been going out alot recently so i wont  get bored and gaining weight at home till school reopen..firstly i went out to the gym to work out cause its been seens ages that i have been working out..went out to the lib with nasir and amir on thursday..i was suppost to help nasir with his chemistry but end up playing lappy and psp..WOW!..anyway..we dont spend time that long in th lib cause i end up getting diarrhoea..need to go home urgently..hidayat joined us but he left cause he need to meet up with his lover at BUKIT BATOK!..from now his the BUKIT BATOK guy..anyway nasir and amir went to my house..immediately use the toilet once i reach home..then we played guitar..make a video call to her..then left cause amir need to meet up with one of his many girlfriends..i seriously don't understand till now..anyway he is kinda pissed off with nasir cause we are dragging the time..blah2..anyway went to jurong west  with nasir to get drinks for break fast..left..later at night..i got headache..worst feeling ever..
 

next day(friday) i woke up still feeling the headache but lucky i took 1 tab of panadol to ease the pain in the morning during sahur..when to bugis after prayers despite the huge headache and the fear of diarrhoea is still there..mammoth..i am sorry that i didnt go out with you and you friends to watch movie today..worried if the diarrhoea come bck again..anyway went to orchard with nasir first as he suggested..walk around in search for my black pants for tomorrow band pic taking..we walk around orchard..NOT BAD HUH?..haha..then took the bus to bugis..go sultan mosque for prayer and bought some food for break fast along the street of sultan mosque..when to G2000 at bugis bought the pants and when home..Nasir..sorry i didnt have that $5 so you cn top up and go home together..left bugis reach home..prepare for breakfast..blah2..

saturday morning ave to wake up early for band at SIMEI..prepare everything for band..when out and meet er at cityhall..in the train meet up with joanna,fian and fazilah..reach simei ite for band prac..KK didnt turn up..ARSE!..when to chage during break..took pictures after band..when home with her,fahmi and iskandar's ex and one of the clarinet player.. along the rain ride..she give me a friendship band..thanx the present=D..I like it alot cause it was in green..she drop at clementi and i went home..kinda..meet my aunt at JP..go get food for her husband(my uncle) and i still end up getting food to bring home thanx to my aunt..accompany her window shopping the least that i could do to repay her for buying the food..went home and sleep..woke up 10 min before breakfast..shower..eat watch tv..play games then sleep..
today going out with my the family to get some clothes for hari raya..I bet it will be at Johor..cause the reason my parents give is..CHEAP!..ok that will be it..owhya..took pic vid cam with youngest bro yesterday..
 

when i am bored..i do stupid things with my brother like the above pic..
 

THATS ALL FOLKS

finally finish BSE PAPER YESTERDAY..today's paper will be POA..last paper and 1 month of freedom freedom from ITE!..

been tired since yesterday due too getting up early to study and freedom is soon to come..after today..530PM!..

fasting month is coming to the end soon..there is a saying that treat every RAMADHAN as your last one for this year..well its true..you never knw you ever going to meet up again..but HARI RAYA coming..closer to the performance date for the band and GENTING TRIP..need to save up because that is the only holiday i am going to enjoy for this year..screw last year..waste my time on studies and not getting my holiday to langkawi..and still end up in the least place that i expected..ITE!..hell care about studies..need to enjoy sometime..anyway wish me luck aite..last paper and holidays..

I CAN JUST SMELL YA!..LOL
training at the gym hang in out with my friends..going to do it immediately after today's paper..getting my "freedom of life"(dont even knw there is such saying but who cares)..Yeah!

THATS AL FOLKS! 


P.S: i love ling ling

Well today i seriously need to really get myself to study mode..exam in 2 days left..

Yesterday was a really fun day..went out with omar, khai and her in the afternoon for break fast at bugis area..both omar and khai really makes my day with their stupid jokes that really makes me feel how much i miss them so much.. and of course got to spend time with her and earlier in the day i bought the chocolate that i promise her that i will buy but thanks to omar i forget to bring it out from my bag and i juz left with him because panic that he will be late for his police thing..anyway..after the break fast we walk to marina square to play pool..DAM PAISEY!..i have seriously long time did not play pool..but i still get bck to my tempo and play like normal even though there is bloopers..hehe

We rush home because we are late!..khai left us to go to his uncle's club and we take to the train home..
to her: im sorry that i am not able to walk you home yesterday nite..hope you understand..
 

well that was a fun day..now really to get myself to study and later need to make my way to yishun to my late uncle's place for his 40 days of passing..still got to bring book and study..

okok..better get myself study..

thats all folks

 

I haven't been posting anything recently due to studies..hey i am aiming full GPA LEH!..hehe.well today is teacher's day/my youngest brother birthday..so lucky..don't knw if we even celebrate his birthday today cause we are fasting..maybe read some prayers before breakfast today i guess..going to sit and home and continue my studies..eventually wanted to go out and studies with her but i think rather not..

To her..i knw that you are going through a hard time with your friends in school..i knw how you feel cause i went through the same way as you are going through now..but in my case i have to face it alone without everyone against me..well definitely i was in the wrong..i accept my mistake and also at the cost of my 11 years of friendship trust..but yet still i tried my best to learn my mistake and not to repeat it again..eventhough silly me repeat it..haha..well just to let you knw..i am here with you eventhough you are wrong or right..it doesn't matter..i will always try to be the one to catch you when you fall and to share the problem together and face though challenge no matter in studies or personal stuff..i never ever wanted to hurt you and forgive me if i ever did wrong..you are that special someone that i want to share my tears of pain and joy with so there is no reason that i want to hurt you..i just want to let you knw that friendship is something that you should hold on too even if sometimes friendship go against you as odd are stack..keep cool and always believe that there is always a way out and i am here if you ever need me if you need suggestion or advice..you shall not suffer this problem  yourself k..all i want is just to have that cheerful =Dsmile back on your face that will always lighten up my day..cheer up k?..

when with my 5B's yesterday..absent as usual nas..so thereofre only 4 of us..to the LIBRARY..that sucks but atleast i got to enjoy the aircon..we wanted to study but end up amir and hidayat talk about thier special someone and left me and nasir talking about nas..it was really shocking that i heard him change which me and nasir doubt so..as far as our friendship of 11 years since primary we knw that he always live in his world and always have the NO-Problem have fun thinking which he is impossible to change in the short period of time..and the news that we get it from is from his ex..which of course i highly dont believe and so is nasir..she is trying to put us together ever since she step into our life especially the part where she cross over from me to him..but there is nothing she cn do anyway..eventhough she tried very hard for this..seriously if she haven't even present in our life..it will not had been like this..we are as usual being the fun joking hard working people and of course nw the current situation is tht nas mom has accuse nasir of the thing that he did which she think is mostly wrong..sadly to say is not nasir but is nas who did so..he make the choice to face this situation and he will be the one that going to get us out of this situation..AIYAH!..why should i bother anyway..move on

earlier ponteng class to go bck sec sch to see my teachers of course my form teacher MR CHUA(his favourite QUOTE: RUBBISH)..when i went bck and talk to some teachers i remember how much of important are they in my life..i really understand the meaning of teacher's day nw..thanks alot to mister chua for giving me the motivation in a form of sacarsm bt it really develop that person in me..thanks alot=D
 
not forgetting mr kenny of course the one who knock some sense into me and a brotherly figure in the sch..your motivations are always postive and without his talks and TONS of lecture..especiallt those personal stories that you share with all of the leaders..i will not be the leader as what i am now..as one quote you told me.."dont kill the desire of your sucess is like putting of the fire with water..you never get it back".. thanx alot Kenny

and the rest..ms neo(NEOBU!)without you poa is not possible..and of course the memories bck in class where you have faith i am your distinction student..mdm wong..the wise old lady who really never give up hope on me and always told me don't give up on my hopes which i am doing now..thanks alot..THE HOTTEST TEACHER I HAD..MS MALINI!..sorry that you didnt get a single pass from our f&n class..but without you..life in sch is boring with your smile lighting up our days..cikgu aidah..TERIMA KASIH!..Mrs chow..AISEH MAN!..your bio class never a boring subject to me even people say it is..you are inspirational..haha..and lastly mrs tricia ong..i am a very naughty student in your humanities class..all the cheekiness of me and your shouting does pay off..thank you all..and happy teacher's day!..

K THATS ALL FOLKS!.. 

Tomorrow is OFA exam..FINALLY!..today went to sch as usual but with the absence of her cause she start at 10 while i start at 9..blah2..so when to sch with my cuz,haziq..been waiting for ofa to end asap cause i wan to have a bit break before the two BE and POA paper which is two weeks from nw..

SERIOUSLY..I am pissed off with my Class advisor..TOO THE CORE!!..she been asking the whole class do alot of things then if they did not do her work she will blame me for not informing them there is work to be done..well..I AM NOT THEIR FATHER!..they don't want to do is their problem ah..anyway i done my part informing them what is o be done so please bug someone else..today in ofa she came in and almost TICKS ME OFF!..thank goodness it was ramadhan month or else i would have juz blow up and tell her off..i knw i am a class rep but if the class don't want to cooperate with me because of you then what can i do rite..huimin already told her off today and resign and not hanim will be taking over her..owhwell it will takes the NERVE OF STEAL to handle you mrs Lim..

well 3 hours of break today..

LOST MY FREAKING GREEN WATCH!!(WHO EVER WEAR IT WILL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF HIS OR HER LIFE)

went to mr chow for the last minute help for tomorrows ofa exam..should thank him for all the patient and words he gave to the clss to encourage us to do well..not going to fail you!..JIA YO!

well been msging khai to plan for the break fast outing next friday..hope everything goes as plan..

wanted to ask her for that friday break fast outing but i still got nightmares about what happen frm my past relationship..so still thinking if should ask her along..i dont want it happen like on the 24th DEC 2008..

i REALLY MISS YOU BADLY(you knw who you are)

Thats all folks!

Hey..juz woke up to have my breakfast before fasting at  5 AM..and it is raining over at my place so cnt have my morning run..owhwell..anyway i suddenly feel that my life has been great with having music in my life..it all started bck in my first sec 1 years..with my cca band as my choice since during that period was the drumline movie craze..so wanted to get myself to percussion and end up playing the tenor saxophone..what a luck and later in that year i played the tuba since my conductor told me that my size should produce huge air support..blah blah blah..but seriously i really have to thank my dear conductor that time mr jason de hamel for putting trust on me that i will be successful in music one day even i sound so crappy and my whole section was freaking pushing me around..and not to forget my bestest band teacher in charge mr david sims and mrs farhain aidil for really giving the opportunity to me being a band leader and excel on as both leader and musician which really change me alot to a more responsible guy right nw..AND MR DAVID SIM..without him encouraging me to do well in studies..i wont be able to in band that time cause i still remember when i was sec 2 he meet up with my dad and told him that i was doing great in the cca and give me time to back up on my studies and so my father did..

picture with my dad for my very first concert at SP Convention Centre in 2006(ARTSTRAVANGENZA)

 GHIM MOH MILITARY BAND..STAY IN MY HEART ALWAYS

my school merge with jin tai and clementi wood is form..(SUCKY NAME)..anyway it also the beginning of my partnership with one of my best friend..ryan liew..still remember we each have egos the first time we met up as each of us one to prove our band are superior..so childish but i happened..hahaha..but without knowing it later we have to work together as partners to bring the pioneer clementi woods band
together as the majors of the band..hehe..we both when as assist majors for the syf 2007 and guess what we get..SILVER!!..pretty impressive for first timer..haha..we step up as the majors in aug 2007..and that is where we face alot of challenges together..in band or even normal sch days..it was hard for us to step down evnthough we said we really don't care much about it..that bond as partners are more like brothers we shared..we fight..we laugh..we enjoy every sweat and tears together..momories that will never be forgotten..AND LASTLY MY FAMILY for giving me support and undestanding for being the leader i am in band
  2007..the fat and chubby majors of cwds band..
Silver batch 07'..pioneer cwds band(dam fat me on the far left)
 2008..hottest guys in band..haha..juz kidding
playing apologize by one republic arrange by the one..ryan..haha..played the T-bone
my fun loving batch!2008 grads of CWDS CONCERT BAND

 6 tubas that i lead..proud for being their section leader
My GRANDMA..thanx for coming down for my last concert..the woman in my life..love her alot=D
speech day 08'..they all came to support me despite my bro didnt perform with me=((my family)

My last ever speech day
and finally not to forgetting my NCO cliques who has really change my world upsidedown!..omar..the indian muslim best friend who always light up my days with his bright smile(cause he is dark) and his stupid jokes really make me feel so gay sometime because of his action..Idiot!..haha.Khai the one who is blur sometime but when he is not..he will talk some sense(got common sense mah!)haha..seriously without him too my life is lonely without his stupid action from back in nco till now make him the best person to have around with..he is also the guy who really i cn talk too when  i face up with difficulties..thanks alot khai!.FARAH..the one who was the first even girl i met in NCO back in the course..i knw that there is alot of people gossip us as couple but we still stay strong as friends..my best friend..hehe..she is seriously the dumb blonde of the group and the one who always nag..she also got the nick name "cicak"..hahaha..dont ask me why..forget lio..anyway we have grown strong and move on in live but we are still as close as we are bck in the course..juz imagine four drum majors meeting up for 5 days camp and become best friends..woow!..owhya..iman..not forgetting the guy who sometimes MIA because busy always..but yeah..he is another person who is dumb like us but when we are together alot of things may happen..hahaha.Miss you guys man!

At sentosa outing this year june..

the cliques..the past people we met..i am at the most right=D

we now in ite still in band..Concert band..looking forward for new memories here but i hope it will be joyful one..i miss the past memories badly but it will always remain in my heart forever..owhwell..signing off for now..adios


THATS ALL FOLKS